if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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