Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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