I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
