did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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