So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
