I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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