so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
