I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
