You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
