Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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