i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
