sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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