clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
