anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
