farters have to be the big spoon...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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