Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
