i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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