This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You dont lie about slip and slides
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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