I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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