i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
