Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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