i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
