didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
