i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize