Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I party with great urgency now.
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