Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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