i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My balls are so social today.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
