Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
