That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
