we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
a search helicopter?!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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