so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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