hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
