I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
