I'm going to jail i love you
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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