You're my little dorito
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
