Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
did i walk over a car last night?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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