...so i touched it.
i barfeds in our rink
only if we run a train.
done.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
