Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
