When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
