i'm signing you up for texting rehab
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
