I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
