Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
