Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
