oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
