i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize