god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
