so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
