he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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