she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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