I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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