Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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