Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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