i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
