stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He kissed a someone with a penis
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
