Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
