Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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