Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
